Handling everyday responsibilities can be tough sometimes. Maintaining responsibilities at work, relationships at home, and still finding time for some fun for yourself can become stressful. Still, it is important to keep things in perspective, and understand what is most important. If you are a black father in this country, there is arguably no more important relationship than that between you and your son.
Cheyenne Bostock is a Life and Relationship Expert, Author, and father. With his new book, Break Every Chain, Bostock sets out to give lessons to men that every father should teach their sons about life, love and relationships.
“One of the things that inspired me to write this book is my father passed away when I was one, and I have a son who is seven. So there were a lot of things that were missing in my life as a young man, and I want to make sure that my son has access to all of those things that I didn’t have,” says Bostock.
Every father wants to give their son what they did not have growing up. It’s a natural feeling for men as the provider of the family. But sometimes men tend to lose sight of what the full scope of providing means.
It’s not just about putting food on the table and clothes on your son’s back. Sometimes that providing entails sitting down and having conversations with him to teach him these lessons found in Break Every Chain. Bostock says that the answer to doing all of these things is finding balance and valuing the right things.
“I definitely believe that men place high value on their time and their money, and they sometimes forget to place high value on family. One of the things that I place high value on is having God at the center of everything that I do, and then putting my family after that.”
Bostock recommends creating a vision board that provides a visual guide to the goals that you would like to reach.Although they are traditionally done for one’s career, it can be beneficial to do one for your life, relationships, and family as well.
“We pressure ourselves into having to reach a certain status in career, or a certain tax bracket before we can dedicate our time to our family; and it’s all about finding balance. It’s about setting milestones and then achieving your goals, but incorporating some type of love and some sense of family into your life, in addition to your career goals.”
Becoming a father is a very challenging transition for a lot of men. You can never be ready for something that you have never done before, and fatherhood is definitely something that changes you as a person. One of the biggest hurdles becoming a father was letting go of some of the things that he did before he was a father, and realizing that the new experiences that he gets to share with his son are actually much more rewarding.
“I do not know where I would be if I didn’t have my son, or what I would be doing. For one, I stopped a lot of the things that I was doing when I was in college like partying, and started enjoying spending time with my son on the weekends; and I wouldn’t trade that for the world. That’s the message that a lot of men need to get. Sometimes we believe that we’re going to be losing out or missing out on something because we have a child, no. We’re gaining something.”
“Break Every Chain is going to help many young men find themselves as a young man, and to be an active member of their community, more influential in their family, and in their workplace.”
"One of the things that I place high value on is having God at the center of everything that I do, and then putting my family after that."